Dear Older People,
THIS IS NOT THE 80's.... or 70's.... or 60's... This is 2011. Us kids do things differently. Don't try to tell me that your parents wanted you to listen to the Rolling Stones, and wear your hair long, and wear funky colorful clothing. Teenagers have been and will be differet from your childhood. Hip-hop and faux-hawks and pants lower than your belly button are "in". Please try to accept this and calm down. I feel better now. Thank you
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he heard a really bad joke!
Some people can tell a joke really well and it will have you rolling on the floor laughing. Others will tell the same joke over and over and expect people to laugh when it wasn't funny the first time. I believe I fit into the first category, and this makes a lot of the "bad joke tellers" envious. . One of my few talents, other than fishing, is being able to make people laugh. I can occasionally offend people with my jokes or jibes but I try not to. Here are some pointers for the rookies:
1) READ!! some of the best oneliners and prods at people that are funny come from having a large vocabulary and an understanding of current events. EXAMPLE: If someone in your class is not following your teacher's directions and being a nuisance, tell him/her that he/she is now in America and that our reveloution happened a couple hundred years ago, but he/she is welcome to go join the Libyans if he/she so desires. This will have the person baffled because if you say it correctly with a straight face they will not know you are insulting them. Also, more than likely they will not follow current events , nor will they even know where Libya is.
2) Know when to stop!
Some people take jokes way to far, especially when the joke is directed at another person, race, religion, etc. EXAMPLE: Don't say to an Middle Eastern person, "What's a man with his had up a camel's butt called? An arab mechanic!" Then promptly launch into your spiel of Arab jokes, because the person will probably take offense to these after the third one and declare a jihad on you.
3) How old are you?
You don't want to go around telling knock knock jokes or other immature jokes for when the audience is, say High School aged or older. These jokes are for little kids and just make you look silly. Try to find out what your audiance likes. If you are talking to right wing hillbilly nutcases who married their cousin, then you will more than likely want to tell you-might-be-a-redneck-if jokes or some political jokes that are simply worded. Remember, try not to use words that your audience might not understand too.
4) Refresh
Try not to use the same jokes over and over, no matter how hard they laughed the first time. Jokes just aren't that funny the second time...unless it is an entirely new audience.
5) Bring yourself into it.
If you make yourself part of the joke, then you ease some of the pressure off the audience. Also, be able to take a joke. If you are out there just throwing jokes out there right and left about people, but the first joke that comes your way about you, you go storming off, people won't want to talk to you or hear what you have to say.
6) Know what you're good at
Know what you're good at. If you are good at memorizing jokes, then don't try to get into the one liner business. and vice-versa. Also, don't go in guns ablazing, if your at a social function, lay low and observe what people do and say, then make jokes about them and their habits, Unless the person has got an almighty ego, then they should laugh at them. Also if someone throws one back, learn from it, see what they said and how they worded it, and try to use this in the future.
7) DON'T READ JOKES FROM A BOOK!!!!!!!!
Just don't! That's BAD BAD BAD. People don't want to be read to - they just want to laugh.
1) READ!! some of the best oneliners and prods at people that are funny come from having a large vocabulary and an understanding of current events. EXAMPLE: If someone in your class is not following your teacher's directions and being a nuisance, tell him/her that he/she is now in America and that our reveloution happened a couple hundred years ago, but he/she is welcome to go join the Libyans if he/she so desires. This will have the person baffled because if you say it correctly with a straight face they will not know you are insulting them. Also, more than likely they will not follow current events , nor will they even know where Libya is.
2) Know when to stop!
Some people take jokes way to far, especially when the joke is directed at another person, race, religion, etc. EXAMPLE: Don't say to an Middle Eastern person, "What's a man with his had up a camel's butt called? An arab mechanic!" Then promptly launch into your spiel of Arab jokes, because the person will probably take offense to these after the third one and declare a jihad on you.
3) How old are you?
You don't want to go around telling knock knock jokes or other immature jokes for when the audience is, say High School aged or older. These jokes are for little kids and just make you look silly. Try to find out what your audiance likes. If you are talking to right wing hillbilly nutcases who married their cousin, then you will more than likely want to tell you-might-be-a-redneck-if jokes or some political jokes that are simply worded. Remember, try not to use words that your audience might not understand too.
4) Refresh
Try not to use the same jokes over and over, no matter how hard they laughed the first time. Jokes just aren't that funny the second time...unless it is an entirely new audience.
5) Bring yourself into it.
If you make yourself part of the joke, then you ease some of the pressure off the audience. Also, be able to take a joke. If you are out there just throwing jokes out there right and left about people, but the first joke that comes your way about you, you go storming off, people won't want to talk to you or hear what you have to say.
6) Know what you're good at
Know what you're good at. If you are good at memorizing jokes, then don't try to get into the one liner business. and vice-versa. Also, don't go in guns ablazing, if your at a social function, lay low and observe what people do and say, then make jokes about them and their habits, Unless the person has got an almighty ego, then they should laugh at them. Also if someone throws one back, learn from it, see what they said and how they worded it, and try to use this in the future.
7) DON'T READ JOKES FROM A BOOK!!!!!!!!
Just don't! That's BAD BAD BAD. People don't want to be read to - they just want to laugh.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Some More Favorites of Clay
I can't find my camera so there have been no intresting "posts" so here is another space filler.
Favorite fish-
All of them
Favorite Mammal-
Lucy, our Golden Retriever
Favorite Subject in school-
Ap World History
Favorite Hobby-
Either fishing or Water Skiing
Favorite Parent-
No comment
Favorite Sister-
My only Sister
Favorite Book-
There are way too many to say. Some that come to my head right now are, The Passage, Alas Babalyon, Fate is the Hunter, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, The Shepard, and All Nelson Demille Books!
Well my wonderfull Mommy is yelling at me again to go clean my bathroom so I guess I had better go appease her.
Favorite fish-
All of them
Favorite Mammal-
Lucy, our Golden Retriever
Favorite Subject in school-
Ap World History
Favorite Hobby-
Either fishing or Water Skiing
Favorite Parent-
No comment
Favorite Sister-
My only Sister
Favorite Book-
There are way too many to say. Some that come to my head right now are, The Passage, Alas Babalyon, Fate is the Hunter, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, The Shepard, and All Nelson Demille Books!
Well my wonderfull Mommy is yelling at me again to go clean my bathroom so I guess I had better go appease her.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
My Favorite Music Artists
These are my top ten favorite artist as of RIGHT NOW. This is subject to change.
1) Eminem/ Marshal Mathers/ Slim Shady
I like eminem because his music isn't just F this and F that. Yes these words are in his music but they are there for a purpose. He has a message in his music and these words or phrases or analogys are there to get your attention and for you to listen to him. I also like him because he came from nothing and had to work for everything and through everything. Drugs, family matters, the color of his skin, education, everything.
2) The Who.
Come on classic. Everyone like the Who what else is there to say.
3) Lady Gaga.
Like Farther Like son
4) Rolling Stones.
Again do I need to elaborate?
5)Snoop Dog.
I don't really listen to him nor is he a great role modle, i just think he is chill looking, and he sweet in California girls
6) Katy Perry.
Catchy and cute. Again like farther like son.
7) Lil' Wayne.
Come on he has tattos on his EYELIDS!! AND he is addicted to cough syrup. So ya not the greatest role modle but his music can be good in small doses. get it doses hahahahhahahah
8) God Smack.
The only song I have heard by them is Voodoo, but that song always lingers in my head. It is intense.
9) Bon Jovi.
Another Classic. Have to love it.
10) Flobots.
" WHITE FLAG WARRIORS"
1) Eminem/ Marshal Mathers/ Slim Shady
I like eminem because his music isn't just F this and F that. Yes these words are in his music but they are there for a purpose. He has a message in his music and these words or phrases or analogys are there to get your attention and for you to listen to him. I also like him because he came from nothing and had to work for everything and through everything. Drugs, family matters, the color of his skin, education, everything.
2) The Who.
Come on classic. Everyone like the Who what else is there to say.
3) Lady Gaga.
Like Farther Like son
4) Rolling Stones.
Again do I need to elaborate?
5)Snoop Dog.
I don't really listen to him nor is he a great role modle, i just think he is chill looking, and he sweet in California girls
6) Katy Perry.
Catchy and cute. Again like farther like son.
7) Lil' Wayne.
Come on he has tattos on his EYELIDS!! AND he is addicted to cough syrup. So ya not the greatest role modle but his music can be good in small doses. get it doses hahahahhahahah
8) God Smack.
The only song I have heard by them is Voodoo, but that song always lingers in my head. It is intense.
9) Bon Jovi.
Another Classic. Have to love it.
10) Flobots.
" WHITE FLAG WARRIORS"
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